Relationship Patterns

New relationships follow a pattern that we all know, but often never think about. Do you recognise this? You meet someone new, feel intense attraction to them and after a few weeks (if the feelings are returned) you believe he/she is the greatest thing since sliced...

When the heat affects your relationship

Twenty years ago I was Press Officer for National Relate, the relationship charity. We had a hot summer that year and sport was in the news in a big way – football, tennis and other sports events all over the UK. I sent out a press release discussing the adverse...

The difference between hearing and listening

When do you think you were last really listened to? Was it at your last work meeting? At the pub? Over breakfast with the kids? Most of us have had the experience of thinking someone has heard what you said, but not really listened to what you wanted to share. Hearing...

What if there isn’t a spring in your step?

Today is the first sunny day we’ve had since the snow and rain of winter. The media is full of photos of people sitting in the park or even paddling in the sea (although it’s still freezing!). Your friends and family might have even said ‘I feel so...

What is EMDR?

EMDR is a method of treating post-trauma symptoms. It is approved by the NHS for treating unwanted responses to trauma, and is often used by therapists in other settings. Unwanted trauma responses are flashbacks to the event (often triggered by sounds or sights in the...

Combatting Christmas Stress

Christmas is coming with all the excitement and joy it can bring. So why doesn’t it always feel that way?It’s well known that referrals to relationship counsellors (and divorce lawyers) go up in January after the Christmas holidays. The reasons are many:...

How does counselling work?

Most counselling is based on trust – the trusting relationship between the therapist and the client is crucial to developing a way of talking together about problems or concerns. Why is this important? Because genuine trust can allow the client to feel comfortable to...

Welcome to my new website

Welcome to my brand new website! I’m looking forward to posting here fairly regularly on all things related to counselling, relationships and life in general. Starting a new venture can be exciting and scary, and reaching out into the web is no different. I’m looking...